


the woods are lovely

by thesnickettaxi



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: olaf being a lovesick teen for kit, platonic beatrice/olaf, simultaneous to all the wrong questions, vfd theatre kids being chaotic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25569262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnickettaxi/pseuds/thesnickettaxi
Summary: while lemony is wrapped up in stain’d-by-the-sea, beatrice and olaf carry out their first mission unchaperoned in a dark wood.
Relationships: Count Olaf/Kit Snicket
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	the woods are lovely

"the woods are lovely, dark and deep," olaf uttered the phrase in the tone he reserved for poetry, deep and melancholic. beatrice wanted to roll her eyes at his dramatic enunciation of the robert frost quote, but she adored the poem as much as he did and she had secretly been reciting it to herself internally the whole time so it would have been a little hypocritical. of course she, unlike olaf, hadn't felt the need to speak it out loud like the opening line to his personal soliloquy. 

"a little more west," she called out, and he acknowledged her only by adjusting his direction slightly and starting to hack through a thicket of brambles with the thick branch he had armed himself with. he cleared the path for beatrice and himself while she studied the map and compass in her hands. they had been travelling through the forest for about an hour now, the trees above them sheltering them from the pressing sun, but the air was still thick with heat and their faces ran with sweat. 

olaf made an impatient clicking noise with his tongue as beatrice stopped to examine the map again, looking around to gage their current location. she glanced up at him, quirking an eyebrow at him irately. 

"sorry, i didn't realise you had somewhere else to be," she quipped sharply before returning her attention to the map and indicating a direction to him. they resumed their journey and olaf struck through the branches blocking them more brutally than before. 

"i can think of plenty of places i'd rather be tonight than trekking through this shithole with you, b. no offence intended of course," he returned dryly. beatrice's mouth curled into an amused smile, instantly knowing what he would really prefer to be doing. 

"none taken. i suppose you have plans with kit then?" she asked innocently, a half smirk painted across her features. he stiffened instinctively in front of her but forced himself to relax back into himself, shaking his head and dismissing her lightly. 

"i might, if she's around." he told her, running his hand through his blonde hair, trying to play it casual. beatrice's eyes lit up with delight, pouncing upon his admittance playfully, eager to tease him about his recent relationship with their fellow associate kit snicket. beatrice liked kit plenty, but that didn't mean she would give olaf an easy time about her.

"i heard she and one of the denouement's were getting pretty close in the library the other day," she teased, a suggestive half smirk creeping across her lips, watching his response carefully.   
he hit her with an irritated glance over his shoulder before giving a falsely nonchalant shrug. 

"kit and ernest can't stand each other and frank is too busy sucking up to jacques to bother with kit. i think i'm safe. thanks for your concern, sweetheart," he replied airily, playing it cool. "do try and focus more on your map reading and less on my love life, then perhaps we'll be back by nightfall." despite his seemingly relaxed attitude, beatrice saw the pin pricks of pink in his cheeks that betrayed his annoyance. she decided to concentrate on the map again and they fell back into their steady rhythm, her calling out instruction and him clearing a path for the pair of them. they continued for about ten minutes, olaf whistling the same passage of mozart over and over until she snapped at him to stop and they fell back into a comfortable silence. 

finally, beatrice called him to a stop and pointed to a tree a few paces in front of olaf. he marched toward it and knelt by the base of the tree, raking his hand across the roots until he felt a slight indent. he pulled on it and out slid a box large enough to contain a ream of paper and not much else, the top of it camouflaged into the forest floor. a pair of grins lit up their faces, unable to help feeling proud of the discovery. it was their first mission together unchaperoned and there was a certain thrill about it, like a rite of passage. they were fifteen, they had completed an operation without an adult correcting their errors. they were volunteers in their own right. 

olaf sat down, leaning against the tree trunk while beatrice sorted through the documents in the box. from what she could gather, it was correspondence from a volunteer who was possibly undercover, or unable to report to headquarters for some other reason. the notes made little sense to her but she dutifully organised them into a folder and slid them into her backpack. olaf passed her a bottle of water which she gratefully gulped from, sitting down opposite him to rest briefly before they made the return trip. 

"cafe salmonella," he spoke out of the blue, no pre amble or meandering around the topic. people often found it difficult to understand olaf, whose brain seemed to be wired all out of order, his thoughts chaotic and disorderly, but beatrice had spent years training with him, and could usually follow his thinking. not this time however. 

"do you think kit would like to go there? with me i mean," he revised after receiving a quizzical look from his partner. naturally, beatrice thought. the only matter she could never understand with olaf was his relationship with kit snicket. beatrice liked the young woman a lot, she was intelligent, agile and competent, but even so, beatrice had always thought that they were too similar and yet too different to work together. they were both impulsive and passionate, but olaf was so extroverted while kit dwelled in shadows, always listening and watching. they balanced each other out perfectly, the give and take, the push and pull, it just worked. their relationship was still in its early stages after nearly two years of back and forth insults and arguing. they had driven their fellow volunteers half insane with intrinsic debates about the most meaningless topics, but at last they were official. 

beatrice smiled to herself as she looked at him, his cheeks slightly flushed (he would argue that it was from the heat, she knew it was from thinking about kit) and his eyes wouldn't meet hers, darting around the clearing and looking at anything except her. speaking to kit about him was an almost identical experience, though kit was actually far more reluctant about the subject than he was and would completely lock off the discussion. they both got these lovesick smiles and faraway looks in their eyes when spoke of each other. it made beatrice want to be slightly sick. 

"sure, she likes it there well enough," she answered, which of course he already knew. when it came to their training, olaf had all but refused to do any kind of research, preferring to learn as he went along. with kit, it seemed he had some kind of mental dossier about her in his head. he never forgot anything she said to him, and would often surprise her with small details that no one else would have picked up on, like sending her notes with a line from a poem she liked, even if it was months ago that she mentioned him. 

a smile stretched across his thin lips, his nerves dispelled by her assurance. not for the first time, beatrice caught herself wondering if anyone could adore her the way olaf adored kit. she had plenty of admirers, yes, but few of them actually knew her properly, simply adoring the idea they had of her, which could be shattered with a few of her sharp tongued words. she shook the thought off, reminding herself as she did often, that she had no time for distractions. the organisation was her priority, and it must remain so. 

firmly pushing aside any thoughts of kit, olaf or her own love life, she stood up swiftly, waiting impatiently for him to do the same.   
"come on then, you're going to need a shower before you see kit so we'd better get a move on," she broke through olaf's thoughts with a sharp order, shouldering her bag with the documents safely inside, ready to give to the organisation. he gave her a look that was undoubtedly annoyed at being pulled from his thoughts, but he didn't argue, just muttered a few words under his breath as he stood and slung his own bag over his shoulder. beatrice didn't wait, retracing the path they had made on their journey to the drop spot, calling out to him as he followed. 

"the woods are lovely, dark and deep!" she yelled to him, almost mockingly, already a far way ahead of him. olaf watched her disappear into the tangles of branches and greenery, recognising the stoic hard set of her jaw as a sure sign that she was upset about something. if he had more time before nightfall, he might call out to her, ask what she was thinking about, play some stupid game or sing something to cheer her up. 

"but i have promises to keep, and miles and miles before i sleep," he said softly to himself, the image of a different girl springing up in his mind, her dark hair neat in a braid and freckles dancing across her cheeks like constellations. he smiled to himself and began to trudge after his associate, his thoughts full of the snicket girl. 

"and miles and miles before i sleep."

**Author's Note:**

> poem extract is from robert frost’s “stopping by woods on a snowy evening”. 
> 
> i wanted to look at olaf being a normal lovesick teenager before everything goes wrong. i’m no writer, just wanted to explore the idea alongside one of my favourite poems, so if you liked it then please drop a comment or kudos!


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